hope
by midnightstaaarlight
Summary: Inspired by that scene in chapter 72 where the Shiganshina trio were talking about the outside world and Levi being his asshole self and eavesdropping.
Levi sat behind a wall, a mug of beer by his side, listening to the Shiganshina trio talk about the beauty he is yet to see beyond the Walls.

An endless sea of saltwater called an ocean, a mountain that spews out flaming water, a vast land of ice, and fields of sand as far as the eyes can see.

He had wanted to see them all too, learned all about them from his sister Isabel. He made a promise to her that they would travel the world together - him, Farlan, and Isabel. They would see all of those sights and create memories that would bury all the pain and the horrors from the years they've lived as street rats underground. They were a family and they were going to live forever as if they ruled the world.

But fate has a different plan for them, and he was left alone once more. Levi curled in on himself; became an unfeeling killing machine. He built friendships yes but no one came as close to him as Isabel and Farlan had been. He was feared, respected, and highly glorified by the people. He was treated like a god for his battle prowess. He was untouchable.

But that changed when he was given a squad to command - three young men and one young woman whose hair was the perfect shade of sunset orange. They were promising soldiers, the fire to restore humanity back to its former glory before the titans coursed through their veins. He trained them relentlessly and vigorously and soon killing titans became child's play to them.

He trained them to be the Scouting Legion's most elite and they did not disappoint.

His heart swelled with pride.

Slowly, although he didn't want to and he sure as hell did not expect it, he began to care for his subordinates. He grew attached to them as he once had with Isabel and Farlan. He found himself feeling relieved whenever all of them return from an expedition; sometimes they returned bloodied and broken but they returned alive and somehow that's all that matters to him.

But most importantly, he found himself caring a little too much for the fiery girl whose mere presence brought color into his dull life.

And all of a sudden, he was feeling again, and although he was still treated like a god and feared by many, he was touchable once more.

The girl was Petra Ral. He found it fitting that her name meant rock for she was like a meteorite who crashed into his world. She was full of life and she brought warmth wherever she went. She was the reason the headquarters wasn't as cold and lifeless as before.

He found himself drawn towards her like a moth to a flame. She was lovely to behold, even when covered in dirt and sweat. He loved how unforgiving she was when it came to putting the boys in their places and how tough and strong she was despite her size and her delicate features. She was impressive with the maneuver gear and had the highest titan kills amongst his squad. She moved with grace and wielded her blades as if she was born to do it.

But what he loved about her the most was her dedication to the the cause, her dedication to her squad, to her father, and her dedication to him.

She made him look at life differently and soon he wasn't just fighting to survive, he was fighting for her and for the promise of a better life with her.

But it didn't occur to him that he was in love until it was too late.

He heard Armin mention the wonders of the outside world a second time. He sounded so enthusiastic and so sure that they exist and it's hard not to believe him when he talks like that.

But Levi has never seen any of these, not even a mere glance at one of them, for all he sees whenever he's out of these blasted Walls were death, destruction, and bloodshed.

He looks up as the light bulb flickers. Maybe those places aren't real, maybe they're just things made up for children to believe, like the afterlife and the goddesses and all those bullshit.

Or maybe they are.

He doesn't know. He cannot tell.

Does he hope that they're real? Perhaps. For the sake of these kids, too young to be going through so much, he will. For the sake of his fallen comrades and for the love he lost, he will.

He will hope that these wonders exist. He will hope that this war will end and everything will be better someday. Isn't that what she told him just before they went on the 57th Expedition? Has it only been 3 months since? It seems like a lifetime ago.

He rests his head against the wall, closes his eyes and sighs. It's been a tiring day and tomorrow he will need all his strength with him. He picks up his mug and swirls it, the motion creating a whirlpool of beer in the middle. He waited for it to settle before he drank it empty.

He took a breath and stepped out from behind the wall, "Oi, brats! Enough of the chitchat and get some sleep."

The trio looks up and Eren answers for them, "Yessir! Goodnight, sir!"

He nodded his goodnight and although he feared that he would go back to being his old unfeeling self when he lost her, it never happened for he had changed.

He was a changed man and even though he's still pretty much a cynic, he has a seed of hope in his heart and Petra Ral was the one who planted it.

And plus, he has new kids to take care of.


End file.
